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I still haven’t settled to myself if which is better: if people tell it to you flat-out that things are not gonna work out the way you want them to or if people actually take time to evaluate things and still try to make things work even if they have a hunch that they won’t.

Currently, my heart is aching not knowing your plan(s) that have to do with us. I can’t even have a good guess on it. Your mixed signals make it hard to do so. One day, we were lying next to each other and caressing each other’s head; followed by having a long phone call the night after and agreeing to have the talk first thing the next Monday; and having a full weekend of like not knowing each other, not even bothering to care if the other is still alive; and spending the first day of the week just by having a random and casual talk over lunch and forgetting everything about that scheduled talk. And now you get upset with me for making a joke out of us not being able to talk earlier. Wow. Just wow. Don’t you even realize how pissed I am that you didn’t even bother to remember that we were supposed to have the talk (which you, by the way, initiated) today? Made me feel that it was not that important, anyway, and that it could be left for another time or even worse could be just swept under the rug? I just wonder why you always chicken out on me.

I don’t really get you. I don’t know what you’d like to happen. I am so confused that I want to let it all out by bawling my eyes out and having a good cry. Please enlighten me soon because clearly, I do not appreciate your mixed signals.

English: US - 3 arm signals

English: US – 3 arm signals (Photo credit: Wikipedia)