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Never Felt Like This Before

Never Felt Like This Before (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

07 June 2012. It was the first time that he and she would see each other after more than a month. She was very anxious the night before; she didn’t know what he was (also, is) feeling.

He sent her a text message asking if she wanted to have lunch with him later. She was unsure thinking that her schedule was then a mess and did not know what to do about it; thus, the girl said that she would see and would have lunch with him if the time and situation allowed. The guy said that he was also stuck with the same problem. Actually, having a worse one.

Few hours passed. He asked her what she was doing; she said that she was taking a break from the stress brought about by the school registration. He asked her again to have lunch with him; she finally said yes. He told her that he was just staying at their organization’s hangout place; she said that she would go there in a while. She didn’t know what she was expecting; she was very nervous. As she was fixing her things to finally go to him, the rain started to pour really hard. He asked her if she had an umbrella with her; she said yes. She felt a little giddy inside thinking that he still cared (or cares) for her. Then she had a silly thought in her head that what if she said that she wasn’t able to bring any, would he have come to her and fetched her?

Anyway, next thing she knew she was there in the corridor near the hangout place. She took a very deep breath upon seeing the light emanating from the room where she was supposed to meet him. She slowly opened the door; he exhibited his shocked face–like his heart jumped out of his chest upon seeing her. She walked towards him and took the seat across his. They shared small talks. And they finally left the room for lunch.

Being a slow eater, the girl finished way after the guy did. They were still having small talks over lunch. She was amazed for it had been a long time since they talked nonstop about anything and everything.  And what made that day extraordinary was that he opened up to her something that he hadn’t told anyone yet. She felt that he trusted her and wanted (and needed, she hopes) to hear what she had to say about his issues. They talked some more. About shallow things. About life. About everything. But not about them.

They went to another building to check out the progress of things. When the status of what he was waiting for didn’t change, they went somewhere to again just talk. Even if people (who she wouldn’t normally let them) saw them being together and actually talking nonstop. After talking about more things, he invited her to go to their apartment. She was hesitant at first because it would be awkward if he wouldn’t drop her to a familiar place but then she finally agreed.

Commuted. Walked. Then they were there at his apartment. Greeted their common friends, had a little chit-chat, and she woke up the people who were sleeping in this certain room. Then, she took a seat at the corner of the room; he seated next to her. He lied down; she did too. He handed her a pillow and took one for himself also. (Not using their bedroom voices,) They were talking endlessly again even if the other two were two people who still hadn’t risen up. They were laughing about the silliest of things and woke the others who eventually left the room for him and her.

They stayed there for few more hours. Just lying on their backs next to each other. He played with her watch and was holding it most of the time. She thought that he wasn’t really after the watch but probably after holding her hand which he, by the way, didn’t do. She was waiting for it to happen but it didn’t. Having had just two hours of sleep earlier, she tried to take a nap but couldn’t because they were still talking. She wanted to take that opportunity because that rarely happened. It was shocking that he was sharing his sentiments with her–sentiments that he wouldn’t probably tell anyone. He opened up to her; she had a deeper understanding of him and his situation. If she did love him already, she knew that at that very moment, she loved him even more.

He was telling her to take a nap but she refused. Then he started to run his fingers through her hair. She loves that feeling. Makes her doze off easily. She told him to stop because of that reason but he still continued to do so. Maybe, he wanted to sleep next to her again. Just sleeping together.

Her hand was placed near his face. She felt as if he was kissing her hand. Two smacks, she felt. Just not sure if that was it. But she knew. Or probably, she wanted to think that. She waited for him to go physical on her. Maybe just a simple gesture of holding hands or sharing of this warm hug. Wanted those. Waited for those. But those never came.

But even if they didn’t hold hands or hugged that day/night, she was still very glad because she felt that she is being trusted by him. She was his confidante at that moment. She wished that moment actually lasted. She wished that they could stay that way forever. And she wants to remember every single detail of what happened on the 7th of June 2012 because that was the day he opened up to her and finally told her things and trusted her. The day she felt she is important in his life. The day that she felt happy with him again. The day she wanted to rewind over and over again.

She thanked him for everything that day; he was happy she was thankful.