Jealousy…
Turning saints into the sea
Swimming through sick lullabies
Choking on your alibis
But it’s just the price I pay
Destiny is calling me
OPEN UP MY EAGER EYES
‘Cause I’m Mr. Brightside.

I get jealous easily when it comes to a lot of things that vary. Name them all–friends, crushes, special someone, sisters, etc. FRIENDS. I’m having sort of some grudge and sad feelings inside when I see that I’m losing a very close friend to another. I just think that we could have been the one in that situation but can’t put to mind the reason why it is otherwise.

Okay, I am so not in the mood to elaborate on things. What I want to rant out is that I AM JEALOUS. So fucking jealous right now!

I currently have a crush on this someone whom I feel who likes me back, too. I even think that he likes me more than I like him. But turns out things aren’t that way… Or I don’t know. It’s just that I miss him…

All I want right now is to be able to talk to him–be it in person, in text messaging, or even just in chat. But he’s not here, not texting, and not even online. Why is this when he is almost online for the rest of the day. How come he’s online when I’m not and vice versa. Why is it so unfair.

And when I backread his posts, none of them even hinted that he misses me too. 😦 Well, except for one where I am just merely assuming. I saw a status post wherein he put, “I love you ***** hihihihi” but then commented a disclaimer saying that he had been hacked. I don’t even know if those 5 asterisks stand for the five letters of my name. Maybe, maybe not. At first, I got happy and thought that it was really for me but then I realized that we didn’t really got to talk the other day when the status was posted. That’s why it couldn’t stand for the five letters of my name. It was probably for another person’s or something that has no meaning…

And now he’s online but he’s not even talking to me.

ARGH.

Please stop being a jealous and whiny bitch already, will you?

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