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I find it gross when you burp really out loud, especially when it smells so bad. It’s just eww. I find it weird that we don’t get to talk nonstop. There’s always this awkward and weird air that I can’t find comfort in. I don’t like it that we don’t have the same taste in food. Where will we hang out then if ever we get to date each other? I love to eat and I consider this as a big deal. If you don’t eat the food that I always put in my mouth, then what now? I am also anxious with the fact that you are not good looking nor well off enough to let you meet my family and have them accept you in the future… I also can’t be judged by my orgmates. OR NOT. Most importantly, I am uneasy with your current academic and familial situation. I look for stability in a guy since this quality makes me think that somehow, in the future, this person will be able to raise a family with me.

You are no Mr. Darcy.
And I don’t think I can work with it.
For the mean time.

I don’t know if these random realizations have anything to do with what I have shared with my buddy the other day. I told her about my past lovelives, which includes the greatest love of my life (so far; yes, I believe). It made me remember the good thing that we had, the good times that we spent together, and most especially the epic love that we shared.

Oh, my gosh! Fuck. Putangina.
Call me stupid or what but I’m thinking that this is another relapse.
Seriously, what the fuck.

I am not really sure if that has affected this in any way. Maybe, it has; maybe, it hasn’t. One thing is for sure, though. I really am turned off just earlier and I’m having doubts in nurturing this. It’s like a turning point, an inflection point. I’m probably moving away now and changing my direction…