As I was going to school the other day, something very weird and kind of freaky “happened”. Okay, I think I saw someone’s doppelganger. Erm, it wasn’t just an ordinary person’s but it was a doppelganger of someone from my past and somehow up to this present, still–it was the same exact look-alike of the love of my life then.
I had to commute to school for my Dad was out of town. Went to the FX terminal to get to my way to Katipunan; the barker opened the vehicle’s door for me. WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS FOR REAL. As the door was opened, what caused the surprise to my face was the person already sitting on the seat where I was supposed to sit next to. He looked exactly the same as him–the hair, figure, EYES, nose, lips, etc. I even inspected his hands and narrowed down to his fingers. I looked at them closely but discreetly, of course. His hands and fingers are different from his. I was unsure, though, for it was a year ago (or more than that) since the last time I was able to hold hands with this person. Then came the time that he had to let out a sound of his voice; he paid for the fare. The voice was different, I am sure.
Trying to push the thought out of my head, I tried to sleep. But… Weirdly enough, I felt his hand slightly touching a part of my skin, it was on some part of my leg, near the knee. I was bothered, really. When this happened, I sort of commanded myself to be distracted and fall into a somehow deep sleep. And I did. But what I woke up to was even more bothersome. I woke up to our thumbs being in contact. WHAT WAS THAT? Was it really him? I had doubts, especially when there were significantly huge number of times that he was staring at me.
Then when it was time to get off the PUV, I heard his voice again. Turned out that my stop was also his. He got off. Stealthily scrutinizing his physical attributes even more, I figured that he is taller and a bit fatter than him.
It wasn’t him.
I contemplated on what just happened and I asked myself what that was about. Was that the sign that I was looking for? Was that merely stopping me from liking another new person? Maybe… Maybe not. I don’t really know. But that was what popped into my head.
He wants me to not nurture the feelings that I think I’m having towards this other person for he is still there. Waiting.
But who am I to interpret all these? I might even misinterpret what just happened for that could mean the exact opposite. He probably wanted me to move on already… wanted US to move on with our lives already.
I told this to friend. He said and I quote, “Baka namimiss mo lang.”
I don’t know. Maybe. But I know that it was his doppelganger~!
Told myself that probably, I’ll let what’s going on between us, if there really is, stop from taking a step further. With this, this friend and I would be just friends. Nothing more; nothing less.
But… when I went to the tambayan after these random thoughts, I just felt happy. He was there. Teasing me again about some of my inconsistencies. People were somehow subtly teasing us and pairing us up. Oh, life… Maybe, there is really a chemistry between us. “You and your love-hate relationship,” a friend mentioned.
I like you but that doppelganger was just something else. It was, indeed, a sign.
Nighttime came and I finally wrapped up all the courage I could to bring it up to him. So I chatted with him on Facebook; told him about the doppelganger thing. What he told me was this, “You probably just imagined that it was me; you just miss me.” It could be that…
Anyway, with the short chatty conversation we had, I got the feel that you want us to go and get a move on already. That was what I got from you. And so, that is what I will do. Thank you for the sign!