As cliche as it may seem, it’s true. Srsly.
I was searching through Tumblr and looking for cute stuff–like the little things that guys do that make girls go GAAAHH and make their hearts skip a beat. These things as simple as looking her in the eye, calling randomly just to say the three words, offering jackets when she is feeling cold, giving tight and big hugs, holding her when she’s mad at you, giving her favorite food even if she doesn’t ask for it, and the list goes on. Those are the things that women want men to do for them. You did all those but for some reason, I didn’t seem to appreciate any of it. I’m sorry.
Thinking again about those things, you sounded so sincere when you did those. Those are the things that I was, still am, looking for. But for some reason (probably for the reason that I wasn’t really in love with you), I didn’t feel any of it. I wasn’t swayed. Was not moved.
If I were in love with you and reciprocated those stuff and responded as if I were actually swept off of my feet then we could have been “still happily in love”.
So for that shit… Maybe, it was really me. I was the one who started it all. If I didn’t act like that then you wouldn’t appreciate this other girl then we could still probably be technically together or I don’t know…
This thinking of what has really happened makes me go nuts. But actually, this is a good thing. Might actually forgive her already for this leads me to the truth that it was really my fault. Not his. Not hers. Not yours, either. But just mine. It was my fault that you gave up on me. I’m sorry.
And oh, I miss you. I somehow hope you do, too.
P.S. Now, thinking about these things, I start to realize the reason why I don’t get tingles all over my body when I think of you… It’s probably because I still haven’t moved on yet. I am not so sure, though. But what I’m sure of is that I am thankful that I met you and had this thing with you. You were everything that I was looking for but you were just not it.
It was not you. It was me…